| Before I shower: | I DON'T WANT TO SHOWER TOO LAZY FUCK SHOWERING WHO NEEDS TO BE CLEAN ANYWAYS I AM HOBO |
| After I shower: | OH SWEET GEESUS THIS FEELS SO GOOD SO SQUEAKY CLEAN MY BODY IS MY TEMPLE EXPELLIARMUS BACTERIA |
Once my dad got a nail stuck in his eye so he had to get this cotton patch taped over it and while he slept I drew an eye on it and put makeup on it and coincidentally my dads name is Joe so I think you know where this is going
My dad was the real Cotton eyed joe
I wasn’t kidding…
dont judge the artistic part of it i was 9 and he is a light sleeper
where did he come from
where did he go
(via castiels-bowtie)
someone’s job is to sit there and write clean lyrics to raunchy songs for kidz bop
(via kissedmequiteinsane)
“boys will be bo-“
*flies in*
*punches you in the face*
bOYS WILL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
Reblog forever until everyone groks.
i didn’t know what grok is so i googled it
To grok /ˈɡrɒk/ is to intimately and completely share the same reality or line of thinking with another physical or conceptual entity
omg that’s really cool
(via castiels-bowtie)
when I was little, I went through a phase where I’d wear my Spiderman costume under all my clothes, so I wore it for about 3 years straight and my mom never found out until one day when we were at a family party, I was wearing the costume under a really fancy and expensive dress, and someone started choking on something so I ripped off the dress to reveal the costume to try and save them, and I think my mom just about had a heart attack
(via kissedmequiteinsane)
do you ever just find yourself doing really fucking weird things when no one is around and then you suddenly freeze, paranoid over the fact maybe your parents have installed spy-cams in the house to watch you
this literally explains my life
(Source: elizabethdarcy, via pizza-butts)
sometimes i think that instead of being the doctor’s companion i’d like to just sit around the tardis and offer hugs when he needs them because let’s face it the doctor needs a lot of hugs and i can’t run to save my life
(via iwannaliveinabigbluebox)